Locating Nearest Exit Unisex T-Shirt
Locating Nearest Exit Unisex T-Shirt
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Made to order. Most U.S. orders arrive in 4-10 business days. Soft unisex fit. Size up for an oversized look.
Shipping & returns
Each tee is made after you order. Most U.S. orders arrive in 4-10 business days; the estimate at checkout is based on the product and destination. If something arrives damaged, defective, or incorrect, contact us within 30 days of delivery.
Fit & fabric
Soft unisex fit with everyday weight. Choose your usual size for a regular fit, or size up if you want a looser oversized look.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low or hang dry. Avoid bleach and ironing directly over the print.
Size Chart
| Size | Chest Width (in) | Body Length (in) |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 16.5 | 27 |
| S | 18 | 28 |
| M | 20 | 29 |
| L | 22 | 30 |
| XL | 24 | 31 |
| XXL | 26 | 32 |
| 3XL | 28 | 33 |
| 4XL | 30 | 34 |
| 5XL | 32 | 35 |
How to Measure
Chest Width: Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit.
Body Length: Measure from the shoulder seam to the bottom hem.
A clever vintage-inspired tee for introverts, socially drained professionals, and anyone who has ever mentally checked out mid-conversation. This parody emergency exit sign design features an illuminated exit symbol with arrows pointing everywhere at once, paired with the bold text “LOCATING NEAREST EXIT: FROM THIS CONVERSATION” and the subtext “Emergency procedure: already executed.”
With its retro green, black, and white palette and lightly distressed finish, this shirt blends dry humor with a clean graphic look that feels both nostalgic and painfully relatable. It is perfect for awkward small talk survivors, office workers, remote workers, overstimulated adults, and anyone whose instinct in a chaotic moment is to quietly find the nearest way out.
A great gift for introverts, coworkers, friends with sharp humor, and people who appreciate sarcasm served with clean design.