Internal Memo My Availability Unisex T-Shirt

This memo is to inform all relevant parties that, effective immediately, the undersigned is no longer accepting new stress, unsolicited opinions, or invitations. The decision is final. No further correspondence will be entered into on this matter. Please update your records accordingly.

The "Internal Memo" tee takes the most passive-aggressive format in the history of office communication and finally, beautifully, turns it inward. Typewriter-struck black ink on aged cream, distressed just enough to suggest it has been drafted and redrafted over a long and considered period, with an official signature line at the bottom for the kind of closure that an email thread never quite provides. It reads like a formal notice. It wears like a personal policy. It says everything a reasonable person might have been too professional to say out loud — until now, in writing, on a shirt.